Fake Gods Diary - 29 September 2006

On Sunday 3 September we played our first ‘all public’ gig at the Mixing Rooms on West Regent Street, Glasgow and it was roaring success. The audience numbered between 40 and 50, and they were very appreciative. We took the stage around 8.15pm and our set was: The Courier, Shattered, Scared, The 28, Wine To Water, Brian Wilson, Shipwreck, Pray The Dawn, Lips Like Ether and Country Feedback. We received a warm reaction from audience, promoters and the other performer that night, Prince Ally. Next up we’re rehearsing for a small gig for friends and family at St Andrews Church in Carluke on Tuesday 3 October.

We have put the recording process on ice until we have roadtested the new songs.

For The Poor Young British Male

We were brought up in a council scheme
We had no money we could put to hopes or dreams
Those with loftier ambitions would thumb their nose
Cast aspersions from their ivory towers
Up to their necks in debt and keeping up with the Jones’s
While we had no telephone
Few means to pay our bills
Dirt poor people with integrity and drowning in spirit
Trampled to the ground, spat upon and cast out
Before I knew it I was trapped
Young and male and without wealth
Marginalised beyond the understanding of the black and the gay
Clinging to the bottom of a social ladder
They race to pull from under your feet
“You don’t count boy, go straight to hell
You’ll get no support and no sympathy here”
Golfers and gangsters don’t care for your plight
Their BMWs are somehow more meaningful
Small town people with their tiny minds
Humanity is absent from their ruthlessness and new business interests
But Country Club memberships won’t save their souls
Wouldn’t know the milk of human kindness
If it pissed on their rice bowls
The struggles and the self-doubts they’ll never understand

Alex McGhie
April 2006

Wireless Festival: words fail me

I fell out of love with music festivals a couple of years ago after it was apparent they were becoming a vehicle for morons with little regard for music who just wanted to get high and become a public nuisance.

However, I just have to comment on the line-up for the above festival. It is thus, from the headline act downwards:

James Blunt
Zero 7
Eels
Beth Orton
Nile Rodgers & Chic
The Boy Least Likely To.

Your eyes don't deceive you, that IS the right way round. Let me offer a brief synopsis on what you should expect if you’re attending:

James Blunt – I’m sure you know him very well, unless you were holidaying on Venus for the last six months. A cheap, toothless, army dropout Rod Stewart soundalike. He has released one record* and is somehow, as we live in a nation of halfwits, headlining this festival. He should be ashamed just to set foot on the stage. A travesty if ever there was one.
(*featuring that insipid chart-topper ‘You’re Beautiful’)

Zero 7 – two ex tea-boy producers on their second album who make James Blunt look artistic and vibrant.

eels - Music fans may wish to go home after this slot. Trio from Virginia who have released a string of records to great critical acclaim and are one of the most unique, dynamic and unpredictable bands around. Songwriter Mark Everett has more talent and wit under his foreskin than James Blunt has in his entire body.

Beth Orton – poignant, reflective and stylish singer-songwriter who can count such luminaries as Emmylou Harris and Ryan Adams among her fans. Has embraced various musical genres to great effect.

Nile Rodgers & Chic – I’m still getting over the shock that they’re 5th on this bill. This is CHIC (albeit less Bernard Edwards), one of the most influential, revered and copied bands of all time. Nile Rodgers is a guitar hero. Third-rate copyists the world over stole their bass and guitar lines. ‘Good Times’ was the catalyst for the hip-hop movement. James Blunt isn't fit to polish their shoes. Jesus fucking Christ.

The Boy Least Likely To – who gives a shit.

In a sane world, this bill would be turned on its head. What a sad indictment on people’s tastes that it's come to this. Anyone who disagrees can kiss my arse, don't bother responding as this page is not a democracy. If you believe the line-up reflects the ability of the musicians, you don’t deserve to be reading this article.

Fake Gods Diary - March 24, 2006

It has been a bit of quiet time recently with other commitments and lack of inspiration to the fore. However, I finally wrote another song, entitled 'March', which was partly inspired by walking the dog in the bitter cold.

Fake Gods Diary - 1 March 2006

After a long break to cater for the festive period, holidays and illness, normal business was resumed last night as we had our first rehearsal of the year. After running through ‘Brian Wilson’, ‘Danko/Manuel’ and ‘Country Feedback’, we turned our attention to selecting 5 of our own songs with a view to a summer release. The five we will be recording are ‘Shattered’, ‘Wasting My Time’, ‘The 28’, ‘Ballad of a Fake God’ and ‘Shipwreck’. Over the next two weeks, Alan will be working on the arrangements and I will finalise the lyrics.

Noel Edmonds Hair

Oh no, who's at the door?
I have Noel Edmonds hair
and I haven't shaved in, like, a week
I look like some junkie decorator
in my '70s Adidas 'Edge' tracksuit bottoms
with their five layers of emulsion
I slump my way into the hall
But my Noel Edmonds hair
follows close behind
and won't play ball
"Oh shit, it's a woman"
She'll call the police for sure
Think I'm a vagrant breaking and entering
I'm not answering that door
Hang on..."is that a mullet I see?"
she's a relic from 1984
As I bound for the door...
"There but for the grace of God go I"
'Good afternoon, I have plenty of soap."

50 Foot Wave - Free Music!

In these days of well-documented corporate greed, it's refreshing to see a band taking a different and bold approach to releasing their music. 50 Foot Wave are offering a completely free EP via their website and encouraging fans to set up burning trees to share the files.

50 Foot Wave are essentially Throwing Muses with a new drummer so needless to say I would thoroughly recommend them. The files can be obtained at www.50footwave.com/freemusic While downloading them, check out the philsophy behind the release on the associated PR file.